3 Months Post-Partum Life Updates

It's been a while since I wrote anything here. Things were kinda hectic now that I'm back to work and we now have 2 kids. Although, I'm very lucky because I get a lot of help so I can focus on work by day, and I put Sven to sleep at night.

Even before I started my Maternity Leave, things were already quite hectic at work. So I only went to Maternity Leave when I already gave birth and also went back to work a week earlier. So I went to 7weeks, paid Maternity Leave. Imagine still getting paid while on leave, I couldn't thank the company enough for making sure we're comfortable financially even when I went on leave.

Sven's First Week

We stayed for a week in the hospital right after I gave birth because Sven wasn't pooping and peeing regularly. We got really worried. The doctor kept checking if I have milk, I have tons of milk that time, but apparently, Sven wasn't drinking it all. My conclusion is that he doesn't know how to drink milk yet. And all those times he was latching, milk was just dripping on the other side of his mouth.

It was not easy taking care of the baby as soon as they got roomed in. My husband is the only one who can watch over me, no visitors allowed. And there are times that he has to go out to process Sven's PhilHealth, pay bills, buy toiletries and I'm left alone with the baby.

My First Week

I had incontinence, it was so difficult and it was the first time I encountered that. I wore adult diapers because of that. Breastfeeding still hurts a lot on the first 2 weeks. I was so glad that doing number 1 and number 2 didn't hurt that much, but I was so afraid to do number 2.

How did Brandon React?

He was very excited the moment we got inside the house. We were a bit worried though because his energy is so high and he still doesn't know how to be gentle. He kisses his little brother a lot. It looks really cute here, but my husband was trying his best so that Brandon will not squish the baby all while making sure he isn't hurt emotionally and physically (when we had pull him away from his little brother).

Our first few weeks as a family

Sven had milk jaundice, and we had (still do) to give him milk supplement. As soon as he was given formula milk, he was able to poop a lot, and all the meconium has been pooped out of his system already. I was a little bit disappointed at myself, I felt that I failed on breastfeeding him. But at the same time, I felt relieved because he was able to poop properly - there was no obstruction in his anus or anything serious. And I'm just glad that through drinking from a bottle, we can be sure that he drinks it properly, unlike when he was latching, I wouldn't know if he actually drank my milk or if it was dripping down his neck. We give him both formula milk and breastmilk until now.

Brandon feels very jealous at times and it's very difficult for me to see him like this. We are on the edge at this time, and sometimes we'd always end up scolding him for whatever reasons. There were many days I'd cry because I felt so bad after I scold him and he cried. I can feel that he was very hurt. Until now, I'd still feel the same. We were able to adjust slowly, and this will take a while. But it truly hurt me when I see Brandon crying, he's jealous, he also wants our attention, but we ended up scolding him. I feel so guilty even until now.

I told my husband that I don't want my children to experience this again - the feeling that they are left out because there's a new baby. At that time, I decided that I don't want to have another baby.

I love our kids so much, I hope I am showing it enough, I hope I am showing it everyday and I hope that they know how much they are loved.

As much as possible, we try to separate our time. If I'm with Sven, my husband must tend to Brandon. And since I gave birth, Brandon sleeps separately (with his Lola and not in our bedroom). Sven is very grumpy when he's sleepy and he hears a noise, or if he feels there's someone else in the room. And Brandon sleeps quite late these past few months, so it's very difficult to put the two of them in one bedroom. I am just so grateful that my mother-in-law does all these things every day, and every night for Brandon and Sven.